Immigration & Mental Health: Breaking the Stigma

In recent years, more and more people from my generation have raised awareness for mental health to erase the stigma of seeing a counselor. Some people believe and are raised to think that visiting a mental health counselor is for the weak or unnecessary. Thus not wanting to see a counselor because, well, one does not want to be seen as weak, in pain, in need, or the idea of being diagnosed as having depression, anxiety, or a disorder. 

I think before we even dive into the meat of this blog, it is crucial to discuss verbiage, wording, and what to call "it." The phrases mental health and mental illness are both self-explanatory. Still, I think it's essential to dive into what it is. It may not seem like a problem at a glance, but when you pause and think about what words mean and how they sound, you will instantly gather the effects of these words. A wise and smart professor, Dr. Stephen Mead, taught me the value of words. I will not break it down as great as he could, but I think just the basics will suffice. Oxford Dictionary defines health as being free from injury or illnesses. In contrast, illness is a disease or a period of being sick or having an illness. When comparing the definition of both words, you can learn how one could be intimidating and a harder pill to swallow. In contrast, the other normalizes it as part of well-being. So I plead to you, when you start having conversations or advocating for it, please say, Mental Health. By doing so, you are using a language that promotes wellness. 

Among Filipinos, there seems to be a misconception when it comes to Mental Health. When speaking with my friends, if they feel down or sad, they are told that they are just "arte" or finicky; thus, it is not essential, and one should just "get over it." That mentality among Filipinos HAS TO CHANGE. Mental Health is vital and has to be seen as something that needs care and attention. It is not necessarily something that needs to be fixed but needs to be addressed, normalized, and discussed. Mental Health is an important topic because of the alarming numbers of people who die by suicide in the country. According to the World Health Organization (2019), 800,000 people die by suicide every year, and passing by suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15-19-year-olds. Mental Health Matters, but most importantly, Mental Health Education matters. Especially given this pandemic, Mental Health matters now more than ever. From the education perspective: students are not receiving much socialization  because they are not in school. Thus, mental health education matters. Through education, parents can know how to help boost their kids' mental health and cognitive efficacy, helping them thrive and survive. 

We must start normalizing mental health because taking care of yourself and your well-being is so important. 

I learned it the hard way. I believed that I could do it all. I thought it was my responsibility to make sure that everyone was okay and that I needed to work all the time. I thought being busy was good. I made phone calls, checked on everyone, worked 20+ hours a week, and went to school. I did it and kept going until one day, one of my mentors, Elizabeth Rumball, told me to breathe, relax, and care for myself. At that moment, I was not comprehending it well and could not dig deep and understand what she was telling me. Then it hit me. I found myself physically sick, tired, and sad. I wondered why and just thought I was probably tired and claimed sleeping would suffice, but it wasn't. I was still tired, I felt unmotivated, I felt pressure, and many needles seemed to be on my back. Fortunately, I found the courage to see a Mental Health professional to discuss what I was feeling. There I found out that I had something called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and high-functioning depression. These were foreign to me, something I never really encountered SAD. It is the lack of Vitamin D due to the gloomy weather in Washington. Coming from Hawaii, Vitamin D deficiency was not a thing; the sun was present almost daily. At that point, I was taught to take care of myself, my mental health, and my well-being. 

I am not excusing Filipino behavior, but I think it is crucial to share the lack of Mental Health awareness in our culture. Mental Health is still taboo, something that is "hush-hush," or something to be afraid of or be ashamed of. Reality is, it's not. It is part of a person's mental health and well-being, and again, MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS. However, when you think of Filipino immigrants or immigrants in general, for the most part, they work entry-level hourly pay jobs. Rarely do you have immigrants have salary pay if they are just new to the country, not having seniority at their job or the education necessary. Because of that, they are forced to work every day and sometimes not even take time to breathe, enjoy life, or go to their children's school events and functions. For example, my mother, a single mother of three, works two jobs: Hale Koa Hotel and a Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchise. Since working at both positions, not once did I see her take a break from work, nor take a "sick day." She barely has any sleep before going to work, not much break before going to her next job. My mom never went to any of my Open Houses in high school, and the only time she saw me cheer at a game was my last game in college. That speaks about the importance of jobs in America and, in a way achieving the "American Dream." Immigrants, including my mother, choose to work to make ends meet because they have to-- they are paid hourly, and not going to work means losing hours and losing pay. 

I also am not shaming anyone for working or overworking. I think work is an essential part of life-- one must survive and live. However, like many other things in life, everything must have a balance. It is necessary to take a break, breathe, do something fun, and take care of yourself. Remember, if you care about your responsibilities, your responsibilities will not be completed when you are tired, overworked, and uncared for. They say health is wealth, and yes, that includes your Mental Health.

I am not trying to excuse immigrants' unhealthy work habits but shed light on why immigrant children and children of immigrants seem to not see the importance of mental health. The fact and the reason is, we, immigrant children and children of immigrants, did not nor have role models who chose their mental health over their work. Our role models worked day and night to make ends meet for our families, and we never questioned it. We saw it as unconditional love, their ability to work beyond all things just for us to survive and live. So if you know someone who is an immigrant or child of an immigrant, check on them and ask, "how are you doing?" and remind them to take a break. If they are just like me, maybe they were never exposed to taking a pause. I was very fortunate to have MANY mentors and friends who reminded me to slow down and take a break. They reminded me to breathe, do something fun, just be, and see one of the counselors at our Counseling and Wellness Center. So to you out there, thank you.

I am no expert, but I hope these tips help you nurture yourself so you can do the work and responsibilities you were called and made to do. These were some of the information that I was given.

1. Take care of yourself first.
2. Go to the gym and workout. Running produces endorphins, and endorphins make you happy.
3. When feeling down or want to speak with someone about their feeling inside, please see a counselor or clinician. It is not the end all be all, but the beginning of a healthier you.
4. Read a book that will stimulate your brain.
5. Cook, Bake, Sew, or pick up a new hobby.
6. Be reasonably lazy once a week.
7. Hang out with your friends, but during this pandemic, organize a zoom/Facetime call.
8. Do something safe, fun, and will make you happy. 

I forgot who I heard it from, but they said, imagine that your brain is a plot of land with seeds. If not nurtured with things that make them happy and grow, they will remain seeds. But if given the love and care to thrive, they will bloom to be beautiful flowers. I understand life is hard, and I recognize that there are underlying challenges that could lead to poor mental health. I acknowledge that people's mental health is not anyone’s full responsibility. Still, if we could all just love one another, care for each other, and show empathy, this world would be a better place. Please check up on your friends, and let's bring back the real "how are you?" No, not the pass-by conversation, but asking the question.

I want to take this time to express my sincerest gratitude to the two mentors and former supervisors who pushed me to take care of my mental health. They introduced it to me and openly expressed its importance, which showed me that my whole being mattered to them, not just what I could do for them. To the dynamic duo, Elizabeth Rumball, and Katie Wieliczkiewicz, you both rock.

How about you? What are your favorite self-care practices? What do you like to do for fun?

Until next time,

M.